Are you insecure about your butthole?

My roommate just informed me that there is such a thing as BriteSmile for your bunghole. This is particularly disturbing to me. Who takes a peek in the mirror and says, "Gee, my butthole is brown"? Really, who?

Evidently, this is an easy fix, though. You buy a cream and a little paintbrush. Then, you just brush it right on. Now, my next question is... how exactly do you apply this cream? I just can't imagine a scenario where this is going to work. I find it awkward (and just a little shameful) just trying to wash the little bugger, much less maneuver a tiny paintbrush between the over-protective butt cheeks.

For the sake of my own ego, I'm just going to assume that I have a pink, happy butthole.